Sometimes friends argue. They grow distant.
It happens even in the best relationships, and it’s part of being human.
But… do we really know how to handle conflict in a healthy way?
And more importantly… are we willing to do it?
The value of showing your vulnerability
Managing conflict with honesty requires something we’re not always ready to offer: letting ourselves be seen in a vulnerable way.
We tend to show our strong, secure, successful parts.
But in conflict, what’s most needed is not perfection, but emotional truth.
Two perspectives, one distance
Imagine this dialogue:
—”What you did hurt me. To me, it felt disrespectful.”
—”To me, it wasn’t that bad.”
—”For me, it was a 7 out of 10.”
—”For me, a 1.”
Now what?
Who’s right?
No one. Or rather: both are.
Do we want to be right or do we want to connect?
We can fall into blame:
“You don’t love me the way I love you.”
“You don’t respect me.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You don’t care how I feel.”
And what started as a disagreement becomes a battle of egos that only creates distance.
Maybe there’s no blame. Only difference.
When two people have different sensitivities, it’s not always about who’s right.
Sometimes it’s about recognizing a disconnection — and yes, that hurts.
But it doesn’t have to break the bond.
Sadness can be more honest and respectful than blame.
And in that sadness, we can find truth, even when there’s no clear solution.
Freedom in relationship means accepting difference
Gestalt Therapy puts it simply:
“I am I and you are you. If we meet, it’s beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped.“
Respecting freedom in a relationship means acknowledging that the other isn’t here to meet our expectations, just as we don’t need to bend at any cost.
And yet, this doesn’t rule out love, connection, or tenderness.
If I want freedom, I must also offer it
Respecting the other as they are, even when it hurts that they don’t see us as we wish, is a deep act of emotional maturity.
It’s the foundation of healthy relationships, where we can hold conflict without losing the connection — or our dignity, if the bond is no longer viable.
A process to live your relationships with authenticity
Gestalt counselling offers a space to differentiate complaint from connection, judgment from honest expression, rigidity from true contact.
To face conflict without betraying yourself, and without demanding that the other change.
If you feel ready to relate from a freer and more honest place, this path can support you.
