Sometimes, our greatest virtues hide a subtle trap.
That socially praised urge to “be a better person” may come from a deeper belief: that we’re not enough as we are.
This drive for self-improvement is often shaped by our personal history.
As children, we learned to see ourselves through the eyes of adults.
Their expectations became our internal compass, and we may still be following it today.
Effort or punishment?
Constant self-improvement can become a race without a finish line.
A path where nothing is ever enough, and we lose sight of how far we’ve already come.
When that motivation comes from a sense of lack, not from love, life turns into a tiring performance.
We lose the ability to enjoy the moment and to value ourselves as we are.
Listening from another place
There’s a big difference between self-demand and wellbeing.
You can ask yourself:
What is driving me?
Is it fear or wholeness?
Am I respecting myself… or pushing myself too hard?
While exigence lives in the mind, happiness lives in the body.
In the breath that releases.
In the peace of the heart.
A shift in perspective
In Gestalt Therapy, this is not about correcting who you are.
It’s about recognizing yourself and releasing inherited pressures.
Maybe it’s not about being better, but about learning to feel joy again.
No tests.
No trophies.
Just presence.
What if now is the time to rest?
This approach can change your relationship with yourself from the root.
If this resonates, Gestalt counselling can walk with you — gently, clearly, and compassionately.
